11.30.2010

And the winner is .... ME!

It has been announced that James Franco will be the next host of the Academy Awards, along with Anne Hathaway. Franco already has a three-part plan for his hosting duties. One is to outshine his main rival Justin Timberlake. Secondly, he is excited by the possibility of presenting himself with an award for 127 Hours. Finally, merely attending the Oscars would be lazy, and he might as well get some work in while he is there.

11.29.2010

Little green people

James Franco is sleeping in this morning after flying to Edmonton yesterday to take in the CFL's 98th Grey Cup. The actor became a fan of Canadian football after spending ample time in Canada filming the Planet of the Apes prequel. He became particularly fond of the Saskatchewan Roughriders, who would end up losing to Montreal, because of their intensely loyal fan base. Franco will spend most of today trying to get the green paint off, as the combination of oil based paint and frigid temperatures has wreaked havoc on his skin.

11.26.2010

James Franco heads south

Disappointed with the long Thanksgiving Day weekend, where the workday week was cut down to three days, James Franco suited up and headed to Bolivia where he gave a talk on North/South relations between the Americas, and the impact of globilization on independent filmmakers below the equator.

11.25.2010

Give Thanks Thy Franco, Give Thanks

Turkey? Check. Old episode of Friends? Check. Maternity pants as Thanksgiving pants? Check. Happy Thanksgiving!

11.24.2010

Franco goes Bollywood


James Franco made a cameo in a big budget Bollywood film today. The actor has always been a fan of Indian films and was finally able to break into that market with the help of Danny Boyle, and the connections he made while filming Slumdog Millionaire. Though the cameo has gone pretty much unnoticed in North America, it has a caused quite the stir in Mumbai with Franco ranking alongside Bollywood legends Shahrukh Khan and Shammi Kapoor in popularity. It turns out he is an excellent dancer.

11.23.2010

Destressing Franco

Overwhelmed by the furor over the T.S.A. screening methods, the fact that Prince William is officially taken and stressed over the possibility that Bristol Palin might win the Mirrorball trophy, James Franco has resorted to his de-stresser: painting clouds. Works every time.

11.22.2010

James Franco and the Deathly Hallows


After taking in the Quidditch tournament at Yale last week, Franco has rekindled his interest in the Harry Potter books. He read the entire series  in one sitting and is currently reaching out to producers to see if they are willing to give him the part of Lord Voldemort in part two of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Franco is aware that Voldermort has been played by Ralph Fiennes in every movie up until now, but feels his interpretation of Voldermort (a cross dressing hipster from the Lower East Side) is just what the series needs to finish on a high. If his lobbying is unsuccessful, he will settle for voicing Dobby, the house elf.

11.19.2010

Hoard thy Franco, Hoard

James Franco doesn't have much leisure time to watch TV, but recently caught a few moments of Hoarders. Franco immediately set out collecting old keytars, Discmans and other outdated electronics as preparation for his audition for the A&E series, not realizing it was a reality show. The James Franco episode of Hoarders will air next year.

11.18.2010

James and the Holograms

In an effort to take Margaret Atwood's LongPen to its logical conclusion, James Franco is working on a hologram of himself, which he plans to send to red carpets and photo ops in his place. Once perfected, the hologram will free up even more time for Franco to pursue his studies and fondness for self pleasure.

11.17.2010

11.16.2010

Sorry!

James Franco has decided to film a movie based on the board game Sorry! Unlike other big screen adaptations of board games, like Clue and the upcoming Battleship, Franco is not going to build a story around the basic elements of Sorry! Instead, Franco is going to film a family actually playing the game, in what he hopes will be a commentary on the death of the American Dream. Securing financing for the project has been a bit of problem, as no one is sure what exactly Franco is talking about when he tries to explains this project.

11.15.2010

Beat the drum

James Franco felt it was a nice day for a drum circle so he picked up his djembe and headed for Central Park, where he spent hours drumming, dancing, and talking to left-leaning political science graduates about the G20 and the long term implications of the mid-term elections.

11.12.2010

James Franco goes to Washington

James Franco went before Congress today and presented his plan to make sure American Social Security remains solvent. In Franco's proposal the work week would be extended to 120 hours and the retirement age would be raised to never.

11.11.2010

Seven

Today James Franco beat his own record. He called all his friends to let them know. His first call was to the Hollywood Reporter.

11.10.2010

Franco gets inventive

James Franco came to the realization today that if he wanted to really be taken seriously as a modern day Renaissance man then he could not rely solely on his artistic output and his studies. In order to be a true Renaissance man Franco will also have to start producing some inventions. His first order of business: to finally hammer out the hoverboard from Back to the Future. Franco believes he can master the technology necessary to make the hoverboard as he's a bit of an expert on the subject, having used the Sky Stick hoverboard in Spiderman 3.

11.09.2010

Teach James Franco How to Dougie

Today, James Franco hooked up with the Cali Swag District to get a lesson on how to Dougie. Franco knows he can't match the likes of Chris Brown and the Glee dancers when in comes to his Dougie, so his goal is to be better at it then Justin Bieber.

11.08.2010

What a fun sexy time

Tired of the dilly-dallying, rumors and false starts, James Franco has taken it upon himself to write the script for the Arrested Development movie. An avid long-time fan and a never-nude himself, Franco has also written himself a role as Tobias Funke's "friend."

11.05.2010

Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and ... Franco?

Today James Franco did a Which Sex and the City Character Are You? quiz. He is such a Miranda.

11.04.2010

Stand up guy

James Franco has been working on his observational humor ahead of the New York Comedy Festival, where he is angling for a spot opening for Aziz Ansari. So far Franco's routine is built around his personal insights into the post-post modern art world and how it intersects with the antiquated assumptions about our reality. It doesn't get many laughs, but he sure can handle hecklers.

11.03.2010

Ant Parade

James Franco is spending all day designing and creating his own Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade float. He selected the ant as the subject of his masterpiece, since he feels a kinship to one of the hardest working insects. Though he has no actual affiliation with the Macy's parade Franco believes his float will be so awesome the parade organizers will have no choice but to accept it.

11.02.2010

Come and knock on his door

In preparation for his just announced 2011 Sundance Film Festival multimedia project, Three's Company: The Drama, James Franco spent the day watching DVDs of Three's Company. What most people don't know is that Franco's discussion at Sundance is only the first stage in a three pronged plan that will eventually see him star in a new adaptation of Three's Company. In the newer version Franco will play a gay man with two girl roommates who has to convince his landlord he is straight.

11.01.2010

Franco Dresses as Guy who Dresses as Franco

James Franco spent most of Monday sleeping in, recovering from an intense Halloween Party that saw him go dressed as the James Franco impersonator Daniel Pedra. Franco's costume of Pedra was meant to be yet another commentary of his own celebrity. In a twist, Franco actually ended up at the same Manhattan party as Pedra and the two hit it off, spending most of the night together drinking and talking about Franco. James' decision to go as an impersonator was met with some confusion as Pedra only bears a slight resemblance to the man he portrays. In the end, most people at the party didn't get it.