1.28.2011

Growing up James Gotti

For the upcoming rumored project about John Gotti, James Franco is doing some research. He realized quickly that he'll need to budget for Dippity-Do.

1.27.2011

Take that, Black Swan

Newsweek recently had an Oscar roundtable with Natalie Portman, Annette Bening, Michelle Williams, Nicole Kidman, Colin Firth and James Franco. In the interview, Bening gave Portman tips on how to attend an awards ceremony while very pregnant and Portman teased Franco that carrying a child is the one thing he can't do. After watching Arnold Schwarzenegger's classic 1994 film Junior on a continuous loop, James Franco has shown that smug Natalie Portman that Franco can do anything Franco puts his mind to. BOOM.

1.26.2011

Serious Academy Awards Co-Host and Nominee James Franco

Today James Franco cleaned up his act, shaved the mustache and put all blond wigs away to become Serious Academy Awards Co-Host and Nominee James Franco. This entails making no reference to Three's Company, reading Faulkner, drinking Starbucks' triple tall two pump vanilla two pump almond organic lattes and watching all five seasons of The Wire.

1.25.2011

Oscar nominee James Franco's lesser known work

Oscar nominee James Franco revealed that he made a sex tape when he was 19 years old. Despite the fact that he was recognized for his work in 127 Hours today, James Franco decided to turn his attention to releasing a still from the home video.

1.24.2011

James Franco, co-host


 James Franco has returned from the Sundance Film Festival, and wants to build on the energy generated during his weekend of blond wigs and Three's Company themed art installations. In an effort to channel this energy, Franco has set his sights on his next great project: becoming the new co-host of Live with James and Kelly, once Regis retires in the summer.

1.21.2011

TV Time with James Franco

James Franco spent his Thursday night watching all six hours of their new comedy block. Today he is writing reviews of Community, Parks & Recreation, The Office and 30 Rock for an obscure blog that nobody knows about. He will not write about Outsourced because he doesn't find it funny.

1.20.2011

Country Strong: The Sequel

James Franco has realized that every awards season has a country biopic. He has bought a cowboy hat and begun talking with a country twang as he begins writing a script for the next great country movie.In a twist from the stereotypical alcoholic cowboy, Country Franco will be addicted to denim.

1.19.2011

Plots and peacocks

Upon hearing that Comcast's takeover of NBC has been approved James Franco immediately began plotting his plan to take over Comcast. That will show smug Tina Fey.

1.18.2011

1.17.2011

The upside of hosting

James Franco and Anne Hathaway took notes last night on how to host an awards show at the Golden Globes. The Oscars co-hosts have devoted today to going over their notes and nursing their hangovers. So far, Franco has tried to drink a glass of water upside down until Hathaway reminded him that is a trick to get rid of hiccups, not to get good at hosting.

1.14.2011

High School Musical, James Franco-style

It has been revealed that James Franco will executive produce a musical at Yale, called James Franco Presents. In a move surprising nobody, Franco has also committed to a high school musical production of Grease to ensure that he has enough experience to present a student-run musical with his name attached. Naturally, he is playing Danny Zuko. At first the kids at LaGuardia High School were intimidated by the notorious workaholic, but have since come around to see the method behind Franco's madness. LaGuardia's principal has denied Franco from having around the clock rehearsals, but he has allowed Franco to give spontaneous pop quizzes, testing his student/co-stars on their knowledge of 1950s drag racing culture and the ancient Greek origins of drama.

1.13.2011

James Franco takes the plunge

James Franco performed a high dive routine for a crowd of 5,000 in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

1.12.2011

Distinguished Toastmaster James Franco

James Franco has been working overtime to ensure that his public speaking skills will be just right when he is co-host of the Academy Awards. He signed up for Toastmasters and fast tracked through the Toastmasters communication training. Franco is already promoting himself as a Toastmaster/Master of Ceremonies and is available to work at weddings and private functions.

1.11.2011

Kim and James Take New York

James Franco went on a date with Kim Kardashian because he respects her work ethic when it comes to reality TV shows, perfume licensing, endorsements, retail stores and a new found singing career. He is hoping for at least one appearance on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Khloé and Lamar, Kourtney and Khloé take Miami or Kourtney and Kim Take New York. It is rumored that this date is the first step in a plan hatched yesterday by Franco, Ryan Seacrest and Kanye West. 

1.10.2011

Multitasking Summit

James Franco has assembled a consortium of some of the world's greatest multitaskers - Ryan Seacrest, Kanye West and of course, Franco himself - in order to learn from each others' multitasking. The meeting of the minds is part of the research for Franco's extracurricular thesis that sleep-deprived men are able to conquer the world with their creative genius.

1.06.2011

James Franco: Turn Off the Dark

The producers of the troubled Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark musical have approached James Franco to help. Naturally Franco took the job, and is currently working on integrating songs from Cabaret into the third act of the Spider-Man show, though it is unclear why.

1.05.2011

Adaptation

While the entertainment world has heard that James Franco will direct adaptations of William Faulkner's As I Lay Dying and Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian, the better kept secret is that Franco has dipped into the R.L. Stine canon for another project he'll be working on in 2011. As with the Faulkner and McCarthy adaptations, Franco will be writing the script for The Beast and looks forward to making The Beast 2 if the first book adaptation proves to be a success. The R.L. Stine adaptation is the first step into Franco's quest for teen audience domination after his Twilight misstep. Also in his back pocket, the rights to Stine's What's Eating Gilbert Grape...LITERALLY!

1.04.2011

Franco's Awakening

James Franco awoke from his year end slumber on January 3rd and spent all day preparing for his annual holiday feast inside his cave. The yearly affair takes place on January 4th, and is reserved strictly for Franco's closest friends and family. This year Franco asked everyone invited to bring a dish, potluck style. Worried about the time he lost to his 10 day long nap, Franco also used the get together as a chance to practice his hosting skills, even going so far as to hand out awards for various categories, best salad, best garnish and best dressed, among them. Winners were presented with statuesque rocks Franco managed to scrounge up. As is custom inside the cave, James Franco was dressed as a bear.