And the winner is .... ME!

It has been announced that James Franco will be the next host of the Academy Awards, along with Anne Hathaway. Franco already has a three-part plan for his hosting duties. One is to outshine his main rival Justin Timberlake. Secondly, he is excited by the possibility of presenting himself with an award for 127 Hours. Finally, merely attending the Oscars would be lazy, and he might as well get some work in while he is there.

Little green people

James Franco is sleeping in this morning after flying to Edmonton yesterday to take in the CFL's 98th Grey Cup. The actor became a fan of Canadian football after spending ample time in Canada filming the Planet of the Apes prequel. He became particularly fond of the Saskatchewan Roughriders, who would end up losing to Montreal, because of their intensely loyal fan base. Franco will spend most of today trying to get the green paint off, as the combination of oil based paint and frigid temperatures has wreaked havoc on his skin.

James Franco heads south

Disappointed with the long Thanksgiving Day weekend, where the workday week was cut down to three days, James Franco suited up and headed to Bolivia where he gave a talk on North/South relations between the Americas, and the impact of globilization on independent filmmakers below the equator.

Give Thanks Thy Franco, Give Thanks

Turkey? Check. Old episode of Friends? Check. Maternity pants as Thanksgiving pants? Check. Happy Thanksgiving!

Franco goes Bollywood

James Franco made a cameo in a big budget Bollywood film today. The actor has always been a fan of Indian films and was finally able to break into that market with the help of Danny Boyle, and the connections he made while filming Slumdog Millionaire. Though the cameo has gone pretty much unnoticed in North America, it has a caused quite the stir in Mumbai with Franco ranking alongside Bollywood legends Shahrukh Khan and Shammi Kapoor in popularity. It turns out he is an excellent dancer.

Destressing Franco

Overwhelmed by the furor over the T.S.A. screening methods, the fact that Prince William is officially taken and stressed over the possibility that Bristol Palin might win the Mirrorball trophy, James Franco has resorted to his de-stresser: painting clouds. Works every time.

James Franco and the Deathly Hallows

After taking in the Quidditch tournament at Yale last week, Franco has rekindled his interest in the Harry Potter books. He read the entire series  in one sitting and is currently reaching out to producers to see if they are willing to give him the part of Lord Voldemort in part two of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Franco is aware that Voldermort has been played by Ralph Fiennes in every movie up until now, but feels his interpretation of Voldermort (a cross dressing hipster from the Lower East Side) is just what the series needs to finish on a high. If his lobbying is unsuccessful, he will settle for voicing Dobby, the house elf.