The Time Traveler's Franco

Today in a lab in Texas a scientist/filmographer used an advanced zoom lens to blow up one frame of the now infamous 1928 Charlie Chaplin film The Circus that inexplicably features someone talking on their cell phone. The scientist was stunned to find an image that looks exactly like that of James Franco talking on a phone, leading to one, only slightly absurd, conclusion -- James Franco can time travel, which would explain how he gets so much done.

Secret shows

After having attended the Pitchfork's #Offline festival last weekend, James Franco was inspired to hold his own secret show in the wee hours at the Brooklyn Bowl, where he performed tracks from his upcoming Backstreet Boys collaboration, 127 Hours of Love.

Central Park time

Today James Franco spent the day driving a horse and carriage through Central Park. When people discovered their driver was the actor James Franco, he told them he was doing an investigative piece for 20/20 on the treatment of the Central Park horses. In truth, he just likes feeding horses apples and carrots.

Rent is Too Damn High

Not one to publicly affiliate himself with politicians, James Franco has broken form and thrown his full support behind the Rent is Too Damn High Party's candidate for Governor Jimmy McMillan. Franco is a big supporter of McMillan's facial hair and position on gay marriage, and, above all, Franco is tired of having to work seven jobs just to afford rent in New York City. Franco supports McMillan. Why? Because the rent is too damn high!

Franco's Masterpiece

Lately James Franco has been worried that his art is too flat and and lacking in technical skill. In response he has re-dedicated himself to the craft of sculpting out of clay and spent all morning fine-tuning what he thinks might be his masterpiece - an over-sized statue of what Franco believes to be one of nature's greatest beauties.

To the Shore

Today, Mikey, Pauly, Vinnie and J420, GTL'd

Blue Steel

After a string of dramatic roles James Franco is looking to get back into comedy. He spent all morning hounding Ben Stiller for a role in Zoolander 2 as Zoolander's twin brother Xander. They are currently in negotiations.

Halloween Cake Boss

After watching last night's episodes of Cake Boss, James Franco felt like making a cake to celebrate the spirit of Halloween. After poring over three Martha Stewart Living's Halloween issues and watching two Tim Burton movies, he made this cake. Tomorrow he might make a glittered pumpkin centerpiece.

NCIS campaign

Still upset by the fact that last week's live 30 Rock didn't bring back his Anime pillow loving character "James Franco," James Franco spent all day trying to convince the cast of NCIS: Los Angeles to do a live episode, where he would star as Anime pillow loving "James Franco."

Tool time

James Franco built this log cabin. And then he went inside and wrote a horror story.

Wheeling and dealing

There has been a lot of publicity for James Franco's recent purchasing of the film rights to memoir Holy Land. But that is not the only deal Franco has struck in the last week. He has also purchased the rights to Glenn Beck's Arguing With Idiots, with the hopes of turning it into the next great war epic. It is likely that Franco was too busy to actually read Beck's book, judging it only by its sales numbers and misleading cover.

Spoonman

James Franco spent all day meditating and reading on how to bend a spoon with his mind. In the end, the meditation and books didn't help. All it took was 35 minutes of James Franco intensity to do the trick.

Timberlake revenge

James Franco is not above the occasional bout of jealousy, and as such, he has been a little taken aback by all the recent buzz surrounding Justin Timberlake's performance in The Social Network. In a move designed to win back some of the spotlight, Franco has enlisted Timberlake's former rivals, The Backstreet Boys, to help him record a six song EP titled 127 Hours of Love, which he will upload to iTunes for free on Fridays.

Paper airplanes

James Franco spent the morning wondering 'Is anybody out there?'

James Has Got a Gun

Tired of his own recent over exposure James Franco shot James Franco. Thankfully it was just a flesh wound.

And then there is this

James Franco spent all day in drag, claiming it was a publicity stunt in promotion for the new issue of Candy Magazine. In reality, he just likes the feeling.

Gleeful Franco

James Franco admits that after one season and three episodes he still doesn't get the hit show Glee. This is only a problem because Franco thinks the TV musical might actually be an important series, and he doesn't want to miss out on the shared experience of watching a hit program every week - like he did with Lost. So, in an effort to better appreciate Glee, the actor has decided to dive in Franco-style. This includes re-watching the first season on DVD, studying the scripts and plot arcs, and showing up on set to hang out with the cast in full costume. He is also working on his singing in the event he gets asked to guest star.

Franco Colada

Today James Franco drank six Pina Coladas and listened to Barry Manilow.

Franco - I do

James Franco became an ordained minister today and immediately held a ceremony marrying himself to his work. The unconventional wedding was part of, you guessed it, an art project. This particular project, however, was not well received as even die hard Franco fans found the stunt heavy-handed and on the wrong side of corny.

Catalog work

In a move that will undoubtedly fuel more speculation about his sexual orientation, James Franco posed in a somewhat homo-erotic advertisement for underwear. The photo shoot was not part of Franco's recent work for Gucci. Instead, the pics will be used as part of an art school project re-creating old-school JC Penney catalogs with modern day celebrities.